Whenever I get an opportunity to write about my angel, Jethro James Morcombe, it is not something I shy away from, but yet I embrace this time to breathe even more life into my son’s short lived life.
I
shake my head in disbelief that soon we will celebrate what would have been his
7th birthday, my goodness me!
My
sweet child was bought into this world on the 14th January 2010.
This was also my father’s birthday and we were so delighted that we were going
to give Poppy the best birthday present ever. However, quite the opposite
happened, as on this very day, my world changed and was to never be the same again.
I
had a beautiful pregnancy with Jethro. No morning sickness, no health issues,
just a lovely pregnancy.
We
were induced early upon request and all was fine to do so. Then commenced what
was to be a 25hr labor and then it was time to push. I pushed and pushed but
needed help. So in came the vacuum suction and few times without success and
then the forceps. On the third attempt of the forceps Jethro became stuck. The
look of horror came over the obstetrician’s face and next minute I’m rushed
into to have an emergency caesarian. At this point I had no idea what was going
on, I was just doing as I was told. My husband on the other hand, as he later
told me, knew something wasn’t right.
Jethro
was pulled out fairly quickly…but something was wrong. There was no cry,
however there was lots of people in the room by this time. Doctors and nurses
rushed to his aid, then a few minutes later the obstetrician came over to tell
me that he was very sick and that he had lost a lot of oxygen during delivery:
we later found out that this would cause his death. At this point, I just
figured he would be fine and that he would recover. All the same my body went
into shock and I could not stop myself from shaking. I was incredibly scared.
He was later take to the Children’s Hospital. The next day I was bandaged up, catheter
in and off I went to visit my son. As I walked into the ward, there was Jethro,
the only child attached to all these machines and I just broke down and wept. I
was heartbroken to say the least.
The
day was just a blur and that pains me, as that day was 1 of only 2 days Jethro
was alive and I felt like I’d missed out on an opportunity to hold my boy a
little longer, to stroke his face, touch his skin, play with his little fingers
and toes and talk to him and tell him how much I love him, but I had no idea
that he was about to be taken as soon as he was.
That
night my husband told me that the doctors had asked us to make a decision. Because
Jethro was so sick we had the option to take him off life support and let him
pass away peacefully. The next day we sat and spoke with the doctor and they
had explained to us that he would never recover and that there was nothing more
that they could do from him. He would be brain damaged forever and by letting
him stay on life support meant that he could actually survive, but basically be
a vegetable. There was no way we would do that to our son, it would have felt
selfish. No one should ever have to live like this so of course we agreed to do
the most humane thing possible and take him off life support. This was the
hardest decision of our lives, but knew that it was the right one. After the
family said their goodbyes, the doctors took Jethro of all the machines. He was
then brought to us in a room at the hospital. And there he was, our gorgeous
boy, no machines, just him. I kissed him and talked to him and held him. We
understood that he would be gone in a few hours, but our strong little man
stayed on for 9 hours. And then..I heard his last breath! A moment I will never
forget. I saw my son be brought into this world and then I saw him go.
I
believe that Jethro was brought to us for a reason and taken for a reason. He
has enriched my life so much and has helped me open my eyes in a big way. He’s
thought about every hour of every day and I love and miss my son so much.
Dominique
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